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Monumental 365.

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  Been a while since I wrote anything here. I’ve just reread my entry from last December after the first day of working with Tristan Eaglen Coaching (TEC) on my strength and fitness. Looking back a year to the day, my depression was all consuming. My meds had been changed for the 6th time in 9 months, and now consisted of a cocktail of two powerful anti depressants. Through sheer bloody mindedness of having such a crap experience of mental health services, a few arms were twisted to persuade them to back a trial 12 week programme of strength training, devised and delivered by TEC.  That meant undergoing a lot of baseline measures, which I won’t bore you with, but suffice to say my mood level match my fitness levels and strength levels, which all bore the resemblance of a slug. Despite the challenges presented by the pandemic, we’ve only missed one session in twelve months, having chosen to continue to pay for myself, as I could see and feel the benefits of strength training so quickly.
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Discharged from Mental Health services

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  How  did you get so  very high You got so high  you almost touched the sky Lady luck couldn't wish you more luck than I So take a jump and steal your piece of sky The Wonder Stuff - Piece of Sky Today is a day that in one way seem so normal and in other ways so unimaginable. Five months ago I couldn't imagine being in the position I am. Today, I find it hard to recollect the thoughts and feelings I had then. I've just been discharged from Mental Health services. I'm happy, healthy and enjoying life. On reflection its probably been several years since I've felt so good, released from many of the self made stresses, I feel excited and optimistic about the future, not only for myself but also about my family and friends. We've made some big life decisions over the past few weeks and are now well along the route of moving house to spend some time enjoying living by the sea and taking life a lot easier. Not to say I'll be retiring, but I will be getting a very
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Training for a 125 mile charity bike ride

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 Ok, let’s get the awkward bit out of the way first. If you can spare some cash to support mine and our team’s effort to pedal from Halton Haven Hospice to Blackpool Tower and back, a massive 125 miles on July 3rd, any donation would be massively appreciated. Please donate at  https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/pedalwithpaul3 I’ve multiple reasons for taking this big challenge on. This time last year, the Hospice’s patron, Paul O’Neill took on a challenge with his friends to cycle 2,500 miles. At the time, I was really struggling with my mental health, with treatment resistant clinical depression and a huge dose of suicidal thinking. Getting involved in the challenge, by riding 25 miles a day on a static bike at home was a godsend for me. It gave me some time away from feeling tormented, thinking nothing other than keeping pedalling. Through getting involved in the challenge, albeit virtually, it led to meeting some really lovely and supportive people on social media, who 12 months
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An open letter to NHS England & the CQC

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An open letter to Sir Simon Stevens, Chief Executive of NHS England (NHSE) and Ian Trenholm, Chief Executive of the Care Quality Commission (CQC). Dear Sir Simon & Ian, Following an unannounced inspection by the CQC of five Acute Mental Health Wards of working age adults at Roseberry Park, Cross lane Hospital and West Park Hospital on 20-22nd January 2021, a warning notice under Section 29A of the Health and Social Care Act was issued to Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust (TEWV) after services were found to be inadequate. When the report was published, it was announced that an external Quality Assurance Board was to be formed to have oversight of the implementation of the action plan to ensure TEWV met its legal obligations and in order for the service to improve. The board was to have representation from NHSE,CQC, local CCG's and TEWV and is chaired by NHSE.  On learning of the lack of any patient or carer representation on the board, I submitted a request, via th
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365 days on.

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Another turning point A fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist Directs you where to go So make the best of this test And don't ask why It's not a question But a lesson learned in time It's something unpredictable But in the end it's right I hope you had the time of your life Green Day. Good Riddance (Time of your life) Wasn’t sure how I’d feel today, I’ve been aware for the past few days that I was feeling a little edgy. Luckily we’ve had some really fab days filled with sunshine, so we could be outside and meet up with family. But all the time, in the back of my mind was today was coming. It’s only another day, but it’s 365 days since that day.  Maybe I should try turning it around and be celebrating that on this day a year ago, things didn’t work out how I’d decided they should. That would be kind of macabre wouldn’t it? I’d prefer to forget it all together, but to do so feels dangerous, reckless. I never ever want to be in a place where the only solution
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Feeling on top of the World.

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  It was during a meeting with the Crisis Service and CMHT, when my care was to be transferred to CMHT, that I was asked if I had any specific requests or needs that CMHT should consider. I gave them a challenge, which has become the case study I'm now involved in and what I'd like to focus on in this blog. A bit of background first. I'd spent the past 10 years developing a charity working with predominantly older people, using sport as a focus for reminiscence, as this developed, we discovered that by talking about sport, we could create a safe, fun environment, where even the least active would willingly join in regular exercise and games. Being a man in his 50's (the government class 50 as the start of old age, as if!!) I'd made a conscious decision in 2018 to try to start exercising more, as I was working seven days a week and wasn't practising what I was preaching. Every time I made the effort to exercise, I immediately felt fresher and better for it, both
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A week of endings and the beginning of a new chapter.

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  Friday evening saw my final session and completion  of David Gilbert’s excellent Patient Leadership Training Programme. It’s the first ‘formal’ learning I’ve done for some time and can safely say it has been a thoroughly enjoyable and informative course. There was a great mix of people with a huge range of life skills, professional backgrounds and personal experiences, with a great international mix of delegates. I’m looking forward to keeping in touch with the group and later this afternoon meeting many of those who have already been on the programme. Saturday then saw the official completion of the 12 week case study that TEWV NHS mental health trust have run, along with Tristan Eaglen Coaching, to test out the impact a tailored programme might have on difficult to treat, severe depression. I struggle to put into words just how big an impact it has had, not only for me, but my family too.  In a nutshell, with the support and coaching, in 3 months my PHQ-9 depression test score has
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