Baseline junkie.


I don't know what's right and what's real anymore

I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
'Cause I'm being taken over by the fear
Lily Allen. The Fear

Feeling a mixture of emotions today. Woke up and took my first dose of Venlafaxine, that has been added to the Mirtazapine. It’s now the fifth antidepressant this year. Bearing in mind it’s my first ever episode of depression, I really didn’t expect to be so drug resistant. But needs must, and the cocktail of meds, known as Californian Rocket Fuel, is known to be effective for some in breaking whatever chemical imbalance and resistance there is.
I had to take a baseline of my blood pressure before commencing and was pleased to see I’m still pretty healthy all things considered. 122/66 and a pulse of 66. Not dissimilar to when I first learned to take blood pressures as a student nurse. Back then my BP was almost identical, though because of all the sport I played, my resting pulse was 35. Oh to be young again.....
So the journey starts. Pretty much each anti depressant has given me an initial lift in the first two to four weeks. (apart from Sertraline) so I’ll not get too excited if and when I hopefully see another lift, but hopefully this one will stick around. 
Love, tier 1 hugs and free school meals for kids.
Blot x

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