They don’t warn you about the crazy mixed up dreams!

Always no sometimes think it's me.

But you know I know when it's a dream.
I think er no I mean er yes but it's all wrong.
That is I think I disagree.
Let me take you down 'cause I'm going to strawberry fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry fields forever.

The Beatles. Strawberry Fields Forever.

One aspect of taking anti depressants that hasn’t been raised when they have been prescribed, but has been acknowledged whenever I’ve talked about it, are the dreams on a night time. 

I’m not talking the usual stuff where we all likely dream from time to time and often forget. These are full on, chaotic, nonsensical dreams that seem to last all night and feel incredibly real and I can recall in great detail, once I’ve taken a good half hour or so to come round from them.

Some have occasionally made some sense, in they would include former colleagues and included going back to work as a nurse on the wards, but even then I spent most of the dream trying to stop old patients being lifted by their ankles from a hoist attached to the ceiling.

Last night I barely slept, likely due to a mix of influences; the increase in medication, an incessant headache and still feeling churned up and a lack of appetite following a tough day on Wednesday.

When I did occasionally doze, I immediately went into an incredibly confusing dream. Each time I woke from it, I would then go back into it. Potted highlights included being sat outside a bar in a foreign city with a dozen people I knew in the dream but have no idea who they actually were. Two dogs that I was tasked to look after. This then switched to a wooden shack type bar overlooking countryside and a river. There was a small island in the middle of the river, which started to move downstream whilst a family ran on to it. This was then closely followed by more land floating downstream, which then turned into a landslide that took everything except the shack. Village fishermen came to ask me to help cook some food, but I spotted upstream that a fleet of bulldozers were heading our way and it was they that caused the land movements, whilst clearing the area for a new road that was to be built against the local’s permission. 

I get these types of dreams every night. Whilst they are not especially disturbing, they are an unwelcome side effect in that my quality of sleep isn’t great and I don’t feel refreshed after a nights sleep.

My eldest daughter experienced similar when she was taking Mirtazapine and put it down to her brain ‘sorting itself out’. Given the craziness of my current dreams, I think mine may need a full MOT and service!

We’re keeping an eye on my blood pressure at the mo as it is creeping up. Since increasing the Venlafaxine I’ve had a nagging headache and a real feeling of fogginess, making simple tasks just that bit harder. Silly little things like switching a light off when I walk into a room, or slicing my finger when cutting bread. I can sense an odd feeling around the crown of my head. 

I’d run out of Venlafaxine this morning due to increasing the dose, but had been told a prescription was being sent to our surgery’s pharmacy on Wednesday in time. It had not been sent, so we’ve ended up sat outside Boots Pharmacy once again waiting for a prescription to arrive. It may sound inconsequential, but the stress it brings to my wife and myself keeps adding up. Multiple phone calls and two trips to the pharmacy before it was sorted. 

We can at least now relax in the knowledge I’ve got the meds I need and hopefully a quieter weekend beckons.

Finally, if you think or know that a mate is struggling, send them a message. Don’t push them for an answer, but don’t be afraid to contact them. You might not get an answer, or you may get one eventually. It’s highly likely though that it will be read and appreciated. 

One way of signing off is this.

“Please don’t feel any obligation to reply to this. I know how difficult it can be to deal with things when your mind isn’t right and I wouldn’t want you to feel any pressure.“

Love and tier 2 hugs

Blot