“What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever said?” asked the boy. “Help”, said the horse
Ain't no use, you ain't that sluiced
Don't tie that noose, it's just abuse
Don't take that ride, it's suicide
You cut your wrist, You tried and missed.
Don't take that ride, it's suicide
You cut your wrist, You tried and missed.
You're in a rut
You gotta get out of it - out of it - out of it - out of it -out of it.
You're in a rut,
You gotta get out of it, out of it - out of it... out of it!
You gotta get out of it - out of it - out of it - out of it -out of it.
You're in a rut,
You gotta get out of it, out of it - out of it... out of it!
The Ruts. In a Rut.
We’ve had a wobbly start today. A news item popped up on my wife’s social media feed reporting on an inquest around a man’s death at the same location I had chosen earlier this year to be my solution. Reading the words in black and white of what must have been a truly harrowing experience for his family, not only his death, but the subsequent inquest and the uncertainty it will doubtless forever leave, really hit home, not just to me, but more so my wife.
It was only the 3rd September, nine months after walking into my GP surgery seeking help, that I finally had an assessment by the Community Mental Health Team. Thirty minutes later I was admitted to the care of the Crisis Team and by late afternoon had, for the first time, spoken openly about a suicide attempt and of the new plan I had formed, which at the time, I thought was the best thing to do, to stop being a burden on my family.
I know I keep repeating myself, but if you think or know that a mate is struggling, send them a message. Don’t push them for an answer, but don’t be afraid to contact them. You might not get an answer, or you may get one eventually. It’s highly likely though that it will be read and appreciated.
One way of signing off is this.
“Please don’t feel any obligation to reply to this. I know how difficult it can be to deal with things when your mind isn’t right and I wouldn’t want you to feel any pressure.“
Ending today’s blog on a positive note. I received a truly thoughtful gift through the post one day when I was feeling particularly low. It was a book, The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse, by Charlie Mackesy https://www.charliemackesy.com/ It’s beautifully illustrated and contains some very simple, but powerful messages. It’s a great big hug in a book. An excerpt is below.
Love and socially distanced hugs.
Blot x
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