New year, new me?

Do you have the time to listen to me whine

About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Green Day. Basket Case. 

First blog of 2021. New year, new me? Maybe. The difference is the new me has learned to take each day as it comes, not to have high expectations and not to set myself up to fail. 

I’m really enjoying the coaching sessions and am almost competent in a wide variety of lifts and balance exercises. For the first time, I did two sessions unsupervised last week, and whilst I deliberately chose lifts I was comfortable with, I challenged myself to do some of the balance exercises I find more challenging to complete a full rep set. 

Today I set a couple of personal bests in bench and bicep curls. I can feel myself getting stronger, physically and mentally. Yesterday I had a session on the bike where I just felt really in tune and ready to push myself, which I did in managing to come 2nd out of 190 riders in a mid ride sprint. 

I signed up to the ‘Tour de Zwift’ which has just started. It has a series of rides across countries. Today’s ride had over 1,000 people on it. It is proving to feel really sociable, but there’s always an element of competitiveness in even the most friendly of group rides!

Looking back over my mood diary and medication records, I’ve been able to cut out diazepam, paracetamol and ibuprofen completely. I’ve had a couple of wobbly days, but on the whole I can see from the charts that my mood is far better than when we started the exercise programme a month ago.

It’s a reflection that my mind is starting to function in that I’ve been able to construct a blog for my local mental health trust. The first was published on their intranet yesterday, I was a little nervous as to how it might be received. I’ve already submitted my second piece, and am aiming to write fortnightly. I’m hoping it will provoke some discussion, learning and reflection in equal measures.

I’ve also agreed to join a working group helping shape a new strategic framework for the trust. The first meeting is tomorrow and is scheduled for two hours. It’ll be my first real experience of being in a working environment since December 2019. I know it’ll feel strange and I’ll probably have some initial nerves, but I’ve read over the agenda and supporting papers and know it’s focusing on an area of work I’ve a lot of experience in, as well as a lot of passion for. 

I can’t write without mentioning lockdown 3. This one feels somehow more desperate than previous ones. The figures make for grim reading and I can’t imagine how stressful it must be for NHS staff trying to cope with Covid and all the impact it has on all the other services the NHS usually delivers. I agree with the decision to lockdown, but desperately hope the government finally steps up to the plate and manages the vaccination programme effectively and efficiently. That they u-turned on the second dose dates a matter of hours after they had started giving them fills me with some dread when Boris Johnson suggests they will have administered over 13 million by mid February.

One small personal disappointment of lockdown is the decision to close golf courses. Having not played for a good while, I was looking forward to finally getting back to it last weekend, only for the course to be closed by snow. I always carry my golf bag and walk at a brisk pace. I enjoy the company and the exercise. 

New Year can be a tough time for a lot of people, especially now we are in lockdown again. If you think or know a mate is struggling, send them a message. Don’t push them for an answer, but don’t be afraid to contact them. Believe me, if there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s to stay in touch with those you value and those that value you. You might not get an answer straight away, but you might get one eventually. Either way, it’s highly likely your message will be read and appreciated. 

One way of signing off is this.

“Please don’t feel any obligation to reply to this. I know how difficult it can be to deal with things when your mind isn’t right and I wouldn’t want you to feel any pressure.

Love and absolutely no hugs whatsoever....

Blot