Monumental 365.
Looking back a year to the day, my depression was all consuming. My meds had been changed for the 6th time in 9 months, and now consisted of a cocktail of two powerful anti depressants. Through sheer bloody mindedness of having such a crap experience of mental health services, a few arms were twisted to persuade them to back a trial 12 week programme of strength training, devised and delivered by TEC.
That meant undergoing a lot of baseline measures, which I won’t bore you with, but suffice to say my mood level match my fitness levels and strength levels, which all bore the resemblance of a slug.
Despite the challenges presented by the pandemic, we’ve only missed one session in twelve months, having chosen to continue to pay for myself, as I could see and feel the benefits of strength training so quickly.
Today’s session really captured everything we’ve worked together on through a journey of exploration, laughter, encouragement and some frustrations. Personal bests on Deadlifts and Incline Bench Presses not only reflected my significant progress in strength and technique, but also where my mood is now at. I can’t thank Tristan enough for his patience, coaching and being a listening ear, but also now being a valued friend too, not forgetting Liv and Tara of course!
Four months ago, after moving house, I stopped taking Venlafaxine, after tapering it down, thankfully with no side effects. Three nights ago, after tapering down the Mirtazapine, I find myself free from all medication and feeling the most comfortable, confident and at peace with myself and the world around as I think I maybe have ever felt.
I’m conscious of trying to get the tone of this right, in writing I hope it might give someone hope, or an idea that however hopeless things may feel, they can get better, regardless of how crap mental health service provision might be.
I know I’ve been very lucky and now view and value my mental health and physical health very differently. When the time is right, there’s a full case study to be utilised to hopefully inform and guide people & ‘professionals’ through what has been a life changing programme and process.
One other big aspect for me during my illness and subsequent recovery was an online show called The Positive Pit Stop. Looking back, it helped me enormously, giving me a purpose and a focus and having something to look forward to, it also lead to making new friendships and hearing others own stories. Never underestimate the power and impact of storytelling.
It’s a bit vague at the moment, but there are plans afoot for another series of The Positive Pit Stop, with a few changes to the line up, perhaps. For BTCC fans, it’s presently at a similar stage to the race series. We don’t know the driver line up, team name or type of cars. But there will be another Pit Stop, probably in the New Year. In fact, definitely in the new year.
There’s something to look forward to eh!
Much love.
Blot
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